Encouraging your Child can Make All the Difference
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It seems kids from all over the world crossing all generations are instilled with the desire to please their parents, their teachers, and other adults that they come in contact with. Many times, we as adults are so busy that the simplicity of a child’s nature is easily forgotten. We expect children to obey us and strive to do their best, yet we forget to encourage them and to teach them how to do their best. It is our job as parents, teachers, and adults to teach them the determination and persistency required to succeed at their goals.
“If at first you don’t succeed…..try try again.”
Seriously- I hated that when my mom used to chant that as a kid. And to be honest I will never chant it to my children. But I WILL teach them the concept over & over again because there is a serious amount of validity in it. The only people who don’t succeed are the ones who never tried. Many of us need encouragement along the way, however, to continue trying. Help teach your kids to drive their desires with passion, and not to give up. Whether it’s learning how to read, winning a science fair prize, climbing the corporate ladder, or selling your own creations- success is teamed with many failures along the way.
There are many ways you can encourage your child, and each child is different. Simple yet profound words such as “Wow- you did a great job” or “I can tell you tried really hard- let me help you.” are the easiest way to bless any child with encouragement. Sitting down with them and showing them hands-on how to make projects or learn how to do something is an incredible motivational mover. Time, although we always seems short of it, is of dire importance when it comes to our children. One cannot learn to how to make beautiful woodwork, or blow glass, or sew, or do anything else of that nature unless someone takes the time to show them (or in modern times- you can watch tutorials online!). But for me-nothing beats the time invested in me to teach me what they know.
Along with verbal encouragement, offer special treats for a well-deserved effort. I am not talking about bribes- don’t even tell your child beforehand-that will give them an alterior motive for their determination. Once they have accomplished a good effort, reward them with something special. Whether it’s a special date out, an edible treat, or a toy-the child will be proud of their hard work and know that you are also proud of them.
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You right about surprise treats after. I love that they are seeking the reward of doing well with an expected ending.
I supervise student teachers for a nearby college and this semester I have a ST who does not believe in praise! Can you believe that? She also never shows enthusiasm and says she has learned not to show her feelings. She feels that what is wrong with America today is that we have praised children too much! I have even shared with her research concerning praise for our students. We have really butted heads over this issue, but she will never convince me that praise isn't good!
I don't let my kids say, "I can't." I tell them, "There's nothing you can't do without help." So when they feel like they want to say, "I can't," they need to ask for help instead.